My hands are sweaty. My heartbeat is ten times faster. I can feel myself shaking. My friend just finished her speech and I am next. I have to go on the stage and speak in front of my half school. I want to hide in the curtains forever. I am nervous from my head to toe. And they call my name! I suddenly wish to have the invisibility cloak of harry potter or the anywhere door of doraemon. I literally have to drag myself up to the stage. This is me before going to the stage every time. I have done many plays in school, participated in various activities and attended a few workshops too. I should have great confidence level. And somewhere, I do. But every time I have to speak in front of some people, I am stressed out. Not because of what I am going to say. I trust my content and my speaking ability. But because what they are going to think.
What will others think of me? Will they like me? Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I cool enough? Am I start enough? No matter how much we deny, all these questions circle each of our minds everyday. This is called the fear of judgement and most of us have it. We struggle to fight it all our lives.
When I started writing this blog, one thought constantly concerned me was- will the people reading this like my work? Do I even write well? Is starting a blog a good idea? And it affected my writing. I couldn’t express myself freely.
Where does this fear of judgement originate from? Basically, it’s because of the importance we give to the value of others’ opinions. We desperately want others to like us. In one of his interviews, Shah Rukh Khan was asked how does he handle the negative comments from the audience. His answer was a simple one but I really liked it. He said- “I have stopped taking all the views from my audience entirely, whether they are positive or negative. When the praise started to not affect me much, the criticism also didn’t.”
In the present generation, ‘acceptance’ is really important fo us. Be it a 12 year old kid or a 50 year old man, we all want to be accepted in the society we live in. There have been certain rules and regulations set for each age group, that is required if you want to live in the society.
For example, in high school, it’s important for you to smoke or drink or be on social media, otherwise how would people know you? At school and college level, we call it peer pressure. But sadly, the elders who teach us to stay away from peer pressure are unknowingly getting influenced by it too.
We are in a constant fight with ourselves to try to fit in with the people around us. People we think are cool. But the truth is, the people we think of as cool and classy, are struggling with fear of judgement too.
Moreover, we are afraid of others judging us on the things we ourselves judge others on. For example- if you feel others will judge you on what you are wearing, its only because you are noticing their clothes too. It’s a cycle and the only way to get out of it is to stop judging others. Humans expect others to be the way they themselves are. For example, a kind hearted person will always expect kindness from other people too. So if you don’t judge other people, you will automatically feel no one’s judging you. I know it’s tough. I know it takes time. But it’s something our society really needs right now.
Thank you so much for taking time out and reading this.
Hope you all judge less and live more.
Also, all your valuable opinions and reviews are always welcome. They will help me improve my writing and give you even better articles to read next time.